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Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was
sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of
his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the
airman to enter, then said into the phone, "Yes, General, I'll be
seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the
meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir." Feeling as though he
had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he asked, "What do
you want?" "Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "just here to
hook up your telephone."
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A private is on duty in the motor pool when the phone rings: "Soldier,
can you tell me what equipment is available for use immediately?" The
voice on the other end asked. "Well, sir, we have two tanks, a half
dozen half-tracks, two armored personnel carriers, a couple of
motorcycles, and fat-ass Johnson's command jeep." "Soldier? Do you know
who you are speaking to?" "No sir." "This is Major Johnson, your
commander!" "Uh Sir? Do you know who you are speaking to?" "Not
yet!" "That's good! Bye, Fat-Ass!"
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A soldier, a sailor, an airman, and a marine get into an argument about
what armed force is the best. The argument gets so heated that they fail
to see an on-coming truck. They are hit and killed instantly. When they
arrive in heaven, they see Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. So they
decide he can settle their argument. They walk up and ask him, "Saint
Peter, what Military Service is the best?" He thinks for a moment, then
says, "Well, I'm afraid I can't tell you. But I'll tell you what. I'll
talk to God next time I see Him, and I'll find out for you. In the mean
time, welcome to heaven." So they enter. Later, they see Saint Peter
while walking around, and they ask him about their question. But before
Saint Peter can say anything, trumpets blare, a bright light shines, and
a white dove flies out of the light with an envelope in it's beak. Saint
Peter says, "Ah, here's the answer from the Boss." He takes the letter,
and the dove flies off. He opens it, trumpets play, gold dust flies up,
and Saint Peter reads aloud:
FROM THE DESK OF GOD
TO: SOLDIERS, SAILORS, AIRMEN, AND MARINES
RE: WHICH SERVICE IS BEST.
Dear Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, and Marines,
All branches of the United States Armed forces are truly honorable.
One should take pride in serving with the Military. You are all
well-trained men, all capable of pulling off your job exceedingly well.
Therefore, there is no superior service.
Sincerely,
God, USMC (Ret.)
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