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lawl that joke is so old

this is a very bad joke.
but i don't care.
what do jfk and obama have in common...





nothing...












yet. i got that like 30 times when obama won in a text

LOL, I was in PE today

some kid was like "Hey guys, now that Obama is the president, you know what that makes us?"

"An Obamanation"

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.:Splak|VMAN

omg lol VMAN WTF thats funny =)

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i got probably 45 texts right after he won from black kids saying for me to meet in the cotton fields at 7:30 for orientation

AHAHHA

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.:Splak|VMAN

ahahah yeah people did that here too

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.:Splak|Element

An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese man, are hired at a Construction site.
The foreman points out a huge pile of sand.
He says to the Italian guy, 'You're in charge of sweeping.'
To the Scotsman he says, 'You're in charge of shoveling.'
And to the Chinese guy, 'You're in charge of supplies.'
He then says, 'Now, I have to leave for a little while. 'I expect you men to make a dent in that pile of sand.'
So when the foreman returns after being away for a couple of hours the pile of sand is untouched.
He asks the Italian, 'Why didn't you sweep any of it?'
The Italian replies, 'I no hava no broom. You saida to the Chinesea fella that he a wasa ina charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere.'
Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says 'And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile.'
The Scotsman replies, 'Aye, that ye did laddie, boot ah could nae get meself a shoovel. Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldna fin' him neither.'
The foreman is really angry now. He storms off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese gent.
Just then, the Chinese man leaps out from behind the pile of sand and
yells,
'SUPPLIES!!!!


^^I almost teared in that one

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that doesnt make any sense, chinese people are supposed to use "r" sound for l's

^ pretty sure that's Japanese, and i don't get that one but i know it's gonna be funny if someone explains it to me

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http://www.formspring.me/yaseenrazeq
"In this world, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant. Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. You may quote me." - James Stewart

its a little kid joke man its not supposed to make sense.

theres 3 window cleaners a mexican, chinese, and a blond white guy
they all eat on the scafulting (idk how to spell it) and they all pack there lunch and at lunch the mexican opens his, he has a burrito, chinese opens his he has an egg roll, white guy has a tuna sandwich. the next day they all come back to work and go to lunch again. they all open it up all have the same thing they did the day before, the mexican says if i have a burrito one more time i'm gonna jump, chinese guy says if i have another egg roll i'm gonna jump, and the white guy says the same thing. So the next day they open there lunch the mexican finds a burrito he jumps, chinese guy does the same, and then the white guy opens his and he jumps. a few days later at the funeral the mexican guys wife is crying saying why didn't he just say something. The chinese guys wife is crying he should have just told me. and the white guys wife is just sitting there shaking her and and someone asks why arn't you crying. " The idiot packs his own damn lunch."

no but the humourus part doesnt make sense, i feel like he messed up the punch line. but its as if, the chinese man (because of his accent?) assumed that supplies meant "surprise" so when he poped out and yelled "SUPPLIES" it was lke he meant to say "SURPRISE"

The soccer team Galaxy have after their latest loss decided to make 9 new recruites to their team.
First they get 2 jews, because it forbidden by law to follow them.
The offence is getting strengthened by a black guy, an indian and a chineese guy to get more colorful.
As backs they recruit 2 gay guys to get more pressure from behind.
As goalie they recruit a 40 year old nun that hasn't let anything in in 40 years! As reserv-goalie they recruit a gypsy, cause they take everything!

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.:Splak|Zombie
[Splak Server Administrator]

lol that's a good one

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First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body.

They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body."

For example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck my middle finger in and sucked on my index finger.

"Now learn to pay attention."

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