Splak.net

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, 'This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, 'Which do you want, son?
The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
'What did I tell you?' said the barber. 'That kid never learns!'

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. 'Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?'

The boy licked his cone and replied,
'Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!'

_________________

lol wow

_________________
http://www.formspring.me/yaseenrazeq
"In this world, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant. Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. You may quote me." - James Stewart

i don't get it?

anyone?

_________________
.:Splak|Element

cuz if he shows that he's smart, the bartender will stop laughing and be like "damn, never playing this game with him again" so the kid keeps taking the cash to fool him, NUB

_________________
http://www.formspring.me/yaseenrazeq
"In this world, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant. Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. You may quote me." - James Stewart

haha free money i would take the 2 coins everyday too

WOW thats a good one, lol element >_>

_________________
.:Splak|ACE

that's what i thought but i didn't think it was that like.. obvious? i guess

_________________
.:Splak|Element

I liked the part about the smart kid playing dumb.

_________________
-- .:Splak|StackableNut --

I like the part where I laughed...




































I see what you did there Cole.

_________________
.:Splak|StoRk


ColeLT1 - Wyatt talked like that before it was cool

_________________
-- .:Splak|StackableNut --

^ HAH, i told you you'd use that.

_________________

Lol that was the whole joke xD.

Whatever happened to Pepto's Chuck Norris jokes, they were pretty funny.

_________________
lawl

A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asks, "What can I do for you?" The man says, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?" The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees. When the couple finishes, the doctor says, "There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says goodbye. The next week, however, the couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees. This happens several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave. Finally, after 5 or 6 weeks of this routine, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?" The old man says, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139. We do it here for $50, and I get $43 back from Medicare...!

_________________

Man says to God: 'God, why did you make woman so
beautiful?' God says: 'So you would love her.'
But God,' the man says, 'why did you make her so
dumb?' God says: 'So she would love you.'

_________________

"Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds.

Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. How long will this take? I asked. They will grow larger over a period of years, my husband replies.

I stopped.

Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years? Without missing a beat he says, Worked for your butt, didn't it?

_________________