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Becoming a Dive Master
http://www.splak.net/forum/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=5867		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  .VI. [ Wed Jun 15, 2011 5:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Becoming a Dive Master
So I'm working to become divemaster certified. So far I have passed my skin ditch/recovery, SCUBA ditch/recovery, buddy tows, buddy breathing, swim 75ft underwater holding breath, bailout, and now only have three tasks left (440 yard swim with no mask/fins/snorkel in 12 minutes, 880 yard swim w/ mask/fins/snorkel in 18 minutes, written test). I have been stressing about these two swims because I am a liiitttlee (lot) hydrophobic especially in murky water. Well guess where I have to do these two swims? Yup. The murky, nasty, turtle-grassy boat channel here in Roatan. My friends and instructors finally forced me to do the 440 (tougher of the two). Here is the story of my swim:

I got in the channel and was like FML LETS DO THIS and rambo-hulked my way through the first lap. I reach the end and turn to start my second lap and stop and say "There is no fucking way. Im gunna dieeeeeeee!" And alex is like "NO BIATCH YOU GOT THIS" So Im like "JESUS FUCK---" and take off again, struggling like a drowning fish. I hit the end of the second lap and am like "omfg I can taste death and it tastes like oily fish sea water" and Alex is like "TIME TO SING BRITTANY SPEARS YOU GOT THIS GIRL" so I'm all "OOPS I DID IT AGAIN" as I reach the last lap. By then Im like "Holy motherfucking hell this water is now lava" as I feel my skin beginning to crisp under the noon-equatorial sun. Alex is like "Come on push it" which is code for "GODDAMNIT HURRY UP YOU'RE BEHIND ON YOUR TIME" so I'm like "FUUUUUUU----" and I flail like a beached jellyfish as I push my way towards the finish line. Then she's all "YEAH MOTHERFUCKIN HALF WAY ONE LAST HALF PUSH PUSH" and I'm like "YEAH" and my body's like "FUCK NO." I see the ladder like 1,000,000 feet away (AKA 15ft) and am like "omfg omfg omfg omfg NO WAY CAN I LIVE THROUGH THIS" Alex is all "PUSH IT" and I'm like "FUCK NO" And she's like "YOU HAVE THIRTY SECONDS" and I'm all "ARE YOU SHITTING ME!?!?!" and she's all "NO" So I'm all "FUCK YEAH I GOT THIS" -flailflailflailflail- -DONK- "YAY LADDER!!!" and Alex is then like "YAY!!" -cheers- and I'm all like "I'M A FUCKING GOD FUCK YEAH" -passes out- Final time: 11'46" Like a boss.

So. As you can see, I'm just a total fucking badass who raped the channel and all its fishy inhabitants and savored a bath in its motor-oily goodness. 'Nuff said.
Author:  ColeLT1 [ Wed Jun 15, 2011 5:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Becoming a Dive Master
Congrats Claire, I know you have been stressing this :D
Author:  Display [ Wed Jun 15, 2011 5:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Becoming a Dive Master
the path to dive master is intense O_O

grats
Author:  Amandapanda [ Thu Jun 16, 2011 6:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Becoming a Dive Master
Congrats :)
Author:  cursed sasuke [ Thu Jun 16, 2011 10:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Becoming a Dive Master
i will never hope to amount to what you have accomplished in life, i am nothing in your eyes and you are far more superior than i, congrats on your achievement bro!
Author:  Amandapanda [ Thu Jun 16, 2011 11:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Becoming a Dive Master
Pshh way to throw my comment in the river. It's not nice to out do my comment curse!
Author:  cursed sasuke [ Fri Jun 17, 2011 1:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Becoming a Dive Master
it's okay to be jealous of me amanda, i mean, a lot of usually are :)
Author:  Amandapanda [ Fri Jun 17, 2011 1:51 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Becoming a Dive Master
Now, now. Don't be egotistic, I believe i raised u better than that!... Also What is there to be jealous of anyways? I don't see anything special in you.

... actually it depends on what way you mean by special :P hehe
Author:  ColeLT1 [ Fri Jun 17, 2011 8:20 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Becoming a Dive Master
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