Splak.net

Not bad, could use a little grammatical editing.

what is it?

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Fun Fact: "Beer Can" pronounced with an English Accent is "bacon" pronounced in Jamaican

is it pr0n?

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.:Splak|Cornholio / Administrator



"He just kept talking in one long incredibly unbroken sentence moving from topic to topic so that no one had a chance to interrupt, it was really quite hypnotic..."

After I'm gone your Earth will be free to live out its miserable span of existence as one of my satellites, and that's how it's going to be...

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(ಠ_ృ)

actually yes, i was reading the introduction and there was a few errors on it. (LOL latino helping on english :S) Ill give you a copy of what should be changed.
Horay for peer editing

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.:Splak|Cornholio / Administrator



"He just kept talking in one long incredibly unbroken sentence moving from topic to topic so that no one had a chance to interrupt, it was really quite hypnotic..."

After I'm gone your Earth will be free to live out its miserable span of existence as one of my satellites, and that's how it's going to be...

_██_
(ಠ_ృ)

http://rapidshare.com/files/59317244/PLASTIC_SURGERY_PROJECT..doc
Here you go, i edited the introduction with red marks. Also, is it an essay you need to turn in? Cause essays are suppose to be in first person.
Other than its good.

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.:Splak|Cornholio / Administrator



"He just kept talking in one long incredibly unbroken sentence moving from topic to topic so that no one had a chance to interrupt, it was really quite hypnotic..."

After I'm gone your Earth will be free to live out its miserable span of existence as one of my satellites, and that's how it's going to be...

_██_
(ಠ_ృ)

There supposed to be in third person, especially a persuasive essay (it makes it more persuasive to not include "your" opinions directly). Also, I really wouldn't consider using the Bold Arial Black size 14 font. I would try using less bland, repetitive words and use better, sophisticated grammar and language. Also you tend to make the essay informal - baddddd for school; your not talking to your friends, your talking and trying to convince your teachers why to a) show why plastic surgery is bad for teenagers & b) convince your teacher that you deserve an A because of your well written work. All in all, it needs a lot of work (imo, my standards are quite high tho...).

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now that i look what i edited there needs to be more editing , but yes, first person is bad on a persuasive essay.

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.:Splak|Cornholio / Administrator



"He just kept talking in one long incredibly unbroken sentence moving from topic to topic so that no one had a chance to interrupt, it was really quite hypnotic..."

After I'm gone your Earth will be free to live out its miserable span of existence as one of my satellites, and that's how it's going to be...

_██_
(ಠ_ృ)

Haha, I have an essay that they WANTED to have us write in first person, then they turned around on us and said, "You have too many 'I's in there!" Fuckers.

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.:Splak|AWOL Soldier
Red tank! Rubber Sled! What the box am I doing? I am a Walrus, thru && thru, gimme my bukket oar I'll eat u.

she made an a, thats all that matters.

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Ive never wrote that much in my life and Im in my last year of High school... You Americans write too much.

????

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---.:Splak|Wonderguy---
---.:Splak|Shampoh---



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you've got to be kidding me...

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Hell no.

????

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---.:Splak|Wonderguy---
---.:Splak|Shampoh---



-—————— /´¯/)
-—————--/—-/
-—————-/—-/
———--/´¯/'--'/´¯`·_
———-/'/--/—-/—--/¨\
——-- ('(———- ¯~/'-')
——— \————-'—--/
———-'\'————-_-·´
————\———----(
————-\———--